Disclaimer: this is a long, boring email about my child's sleep habits so feel free to skip.
Okay- I need help. My sweet little Tucker is having trouble sleeping at night. He was great early on, at 3 1/2 months he was sleeping from 9-4 or 4:30, eating, and going back to bed until 7 or so. Then he got a cold and it all changed. He started waking up at 2 or 2:30, wanting to eat. He was still so little, so I tried feeding him then for a while, then slowly tried pushing the time back. By 5 months I thought he was at least back to where we were before, but since then he has just been so inconsistent. Once or twice a week he will sleep straight through till 4 or 4:30. The rest of the nights he wakes up between 12:30 and 3, sometimes he will go right back to sleep and sleep until after 4. Other times he will act like he wants to sleep and lay back down, but continue to wake up every 15 minutes or so. Other times he just cries until he is fed. Because he is so little in weight and the dr doesnt think I should cut out the night feeding yet (he really seems to be hungry and eats a lot) I have not yet let him cry it out all the way. However, I have tried to push his feeding back by letting him cry until 4 or so. When he wakes up early, I usually go in every so often- he tends to get himself under the bumper and he looses his paci- so I resituate him, pat his back, and then leave for him to try and get himself back to sleep. It has not seemed to help. He will sometimes cry for 2 hours! I finally give in. The problem is the next night will be different- there is no pattern to see improvement ( crying less each night). ie...last Friday night he cried from 2-4:30, finally put himself back to sleep and woke up at 6:30 to eat. The next 3 nights he woke up around 2, but went back to sleep easliy until after 4. Last night he woke up at 1:30 and cried for 2+ hours until I gave in and fed him. There is just no pattern. We have tried bottles and formula at night...nothing seems to make a significant difference. He is a good napper and goes down easy to nap and bed. I am just tired and not sure how to proceed. If it really is hunger, then I am more than happy to feed him. I just dont want to create a habit that will continue on. He is finally starting to eat some baby foods, so I am hoping that eventually that will help. Right now I am about to give up on the "cry it out" and just feed him when he wakes up- at least I will get some sleep that way. Anyway, I needed to vent and am open to any advice anyone has. I am exhausted and having trouble seeing the light at the end of this tunnel right now- it has just gone on for so long.
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I have no idea if this will help...and you've probably tried it but we'd let Aubrey cry for 15 minutes at a time, go in and reassure her we will still there until she fell asleep. But, if it ever got to where her crying became hysterical then we'd pick her up, soothe her and as soon as she was calm in our arms we put her down to try and put herself to sleep. We did this at nap time and bedtime. It allowed her to try to put herself to sleep but not become to hysterical. You've probably tried this, right? :) I'll keep thinking about it... and praying for you in the meantime!
One more thing... our Dr. recommended the book Good Night Sleep Tight by Kim Westand although I hate reading books on sleeping it helped us. The chapters are divided by age so you can go right to where you need. You are welcome to borrow it! It's actually Megan's but I'm sure she won't mind.
Not much advice here, only empathy :) Andrew is inconsistent as well. Waking at night anywhere from 1-5am. I have been stack feeding him in the evening (6pm cereal, 6:30 nurse, 8:30 nurse) and that seems to help some. Hang in there! This too shall pass.
iI don't have any wise words... Lily did not sleep well until she was about 9 mothns old!
I will mail you the book I have - although I kind of hate sleep books too. I think they help in giving you some sort of plan when all seems hopeless, but they kind of made me crazy too!
Hang in there - he will get through it soon even though it doesn't seem so at the moment.
Only 'cuz you asked, this is what worked with Jace and his cousins: got this approach from Kendall's older siblings with their kids. I fed Jace in a certain pattern: Feed/Wake/Sleep consistently every day.(not in the mid of the night though-just fed him and put him back down) meaning: I ALWAYS fed him soon after he woke(a full feeding with no snack feedings afterward), kept him awake for however long he could stand, then put him down to sleep (without a feeding) This is more similar to the way adult bodies function. Also, putting their little bodies into this physical routine helps their little bodies organize sleep patterns better. Sounds differnt, but it worked well. I did it when Jace was one month, though. It was simply a relief to have a plan of action, I hated that helpless feeling. I'll be praying for whatever you decide to do...bless you heart! I know everyone's lives and routines are different according their families' needs.
I am so sorry about your lack of sleep. I think parenting decisions are hard even when you are well rested! Sounds like you are trying everything. I agree with Stephanie, this too shall pass. I often get to a breaking point and not sure what to do with Luke and then things get better. You are doing a great job. Hang in there.
Oh, I am sooo sorry! No wise words, just encouragement that you can make it through it!! And vent all you need to!! It seems to me that all babies are SO very different! You are doing a great job and are an AWESOME mommy!! Your boys are so blessed to have you!! I hope and pray he starts sleeping for you!! Love you!
Houston went through a spell like this right around the time he was Tucker's age. I think it might have been a growth spurt or something? But he was doing so well then started waking up middle of the night at different times. I think Tucker will grow out of it. I began waking Houston up around 11:00 or so and feeding him 8oz, then he would sleep until 7:00 or so the next morning. But if I woke HIM up, then he would not get up at 2:00 in the morning. You'll figure it out, and I promise, it won't last! Hang in there!
Oh Katie. I know you are tired and frustrated - haven't all mommas been there. Feel free to keep on venting and searching for answers. Believe me, I don't think anyone has them all and babies are so different. I CAN NOT let me babies cry it out - about 5 minutes is all I could stand. I tried with Brinton a few times and after a few minutes of listening to him cry, I would start crying and Devan would say, let's just get him, there's no reason for us all to be miserable. And so after that, I rarely let them cry too long. But as all babies are different so are mothers. Some can tolerate for longer than I can. But as for advice...well I've already written a book, so I'll talk to ya on Sunday or whenever I see you next. Good luck and just remember that eventually he will get it and you'll get more sleep. It's hard to remember sometimes when you are in it. Just do what feels comfortable to you in the meantime, even if it means less sleep for a while. Love ya girl.
Katie, I agree with the Perkins family. Em was not an easy baby! I could tell that from the very beginning! As hard as it was, I began the same schedule with an eat/wake/sleep pattern every 3 hours. If she was asleep, I woke her up (during the day). I never really had to let her cry it out because it worked!!! I know some people do not like Babywise, but that is one aspect of it that really worked for me. The book tells you the specific times to drop the feeding. I would wake her up around 10:30 for her final feeding at the beginning. Then, I just dropped that feeding. She always slept for 6-7 hours straight from around 2 weeks old. Now she sleeps 13. I think you should just try it! I hope it gets better for you!
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